And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
