i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
