yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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