went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
apparently the secret to your success is patron
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Shame - the story of my life.
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