she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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