i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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