I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
