oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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