Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
