to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
