she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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