drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
