maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
