I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
