addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
