butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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