Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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