Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
