all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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