Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
