Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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