i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
