He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
third nipple confirmed
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I had to cum in my sink.
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