I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we're making bets on your personal life
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just high enough for therapy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
