I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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