with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
