I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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