accomplished twins. life is a go
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
How external is "for external use only"?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
