im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Semen is not good for contacts.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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