My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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