What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
