we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
