why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Found the puke drawer
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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