Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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