Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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