Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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