After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
