im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
