I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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