Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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