just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
