Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
