Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
