So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
