hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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