the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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