thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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