I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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