I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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