I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
